closer to 30 and assessing life

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Last week I had my 27th birthday, and let me confess, I had a meltdown. I know I am probably too young to start hating birthdays and I am constantly reminded of that quote "do not regret growing old, it is a privledged denied to most." Yet, I still manage to get worked up about the things I haven't accomplished and what I am lacking in my life.

To quote another blogger "27 is much different from 26, at 26 I was just a year older than 25, at 27 I am getting closer to 30." Thank you for summing that up perfectly. 27 is just a few short years away from 30, and aren't you supposed to be grown up by then?

I don't know why I felt so crappy on my birthday, I have a lot to show for my 27 years, but somehow I still wanted to be further along. I set out to search what you "should" have accomplished by 30 to see if I was at least on the right track.....

6 hours later....

So........ I searched out other peoples accomplishment lists and their opinions of the things you need to accomplish before 30, like the places to visit, and the foods to eat, but then I found myself thinking, why am I holding myself to other people’s standards? I never have before, I didn’t follow someone else's road map thus far in my life, so I’m not going to start now. I think some of the stuff I read was of value, like “learn to balance your check book” well I can confidently check that off the list. But other ones like, Buy a entire bar full of people a drink and have a one night stand, well, those don’t really rank very high on my to – do lists in life. Instead, I have complied a list of what I feel are my greatest accomplishments and the things I hope to check off my bucket list by the time I’m 30.

What I’ve accomplished in 27 years....

  1. I moved out of my home town (seriously, that’s kind of a big accomplishment where I’m from).
  2. I moved across the country to Chicago. The Midwest is very different in terms of values, ideals and especially weather. It opened my eyes beyond the farming community I was raised in.
  3. I graduated college, 3 majors, 3 schools, and huge amounts of student loan debt later, I did it. My degree is from an Art school, but it is in something I absolutely love. I probably could have gotten to the same point I am at now without it, but I don’t know If I would have the same confidence.
  4. I moved to Los Angeles, a city I have grown to love. I cannot imagine living anywhere else, nor do I plan to. LA is my home and I am very thankful we can afford to live here (very modestly of course).
  5. I married my best friend. For city folks we probably married young (I was 25, he 27) but we had been together 5 years and from the beginning we talked about marriage. He is my biggest fan and I could not find someone who loves me more.
  6. I started my blog (December 2010). I honestly had no intentions when it began. I just needed to speak my mind and share my closet. Since then I have realized I can turn it into a business and I aim to do so.
  7. I got my first and only tattoo! It was on the bucket list an it hurt like hell!! I got it on the outer side of my right foot and it says “Peace Patience Positively” Three things I have to constantly remind myself to enact.
  8. I jumped out of a plane. Another thing on my bucket list, but something I did not enjoy one bit!! I’ve heard people say it’s better than sex… they must be having bad sex! I hated every second of it, so needless to say, that won’t be happening ever again. I will not be bungee jumping either!
  9. I have taught myself a variety of skills: computer software, blogging, web design (very minimally), how to write television sitcoms (not well) refinishing furniture, sewing, tennis.... etc. But what I’ve realized is with enough googling and reading I can teach myself anything, thus I will constantly be learning new things.
  10. Successfully and with minimal damage figured out exactly who I am. I didn’t have to experiment with drugs, sex or alcohol to find who the real Tori is. I will say it took me till I was 25 to do so. I am constantly redefining who I am and how I see the world, but I know unequivocally who I am and what I stand for. I am very confidant in that fact.

Things I hope to accomplish by June 2015

  1. Make this blog into a revenue generating business. I want to be a full time lifestyle blogger who make appearances, gives interviews & advice, maybe get a book deal… who knows. I want to be the new age Martha Stewart without a stylist!
  2. I want to be able to afford a place with a yard and at least 2 bedrooms. This may sound crazy simple, but in LA, what I have outlined is expensive.
  3. I want to have visited at least one country in Europe. It’s a big place so I need to start soon!
  4. I want to see the northern lights, be it Canada, Alaska or Montana, I wanna go!
  5. I want to take a cruise. Don’t care where or how long, but it needs to happen. It would be nice to take my mom and my siblings with me too.
  6. I want to have read at least 20 new books (I should probably start keeping track).
  7. I want to finish my TV pilot script and start on a couple of my other ideas as well.
  8. I want to decorate the entirety of my home and love every corner of it. I want to feel settled in one place.
  9. I want to be having serious baby talks, if we don’t have a baby yet.
  10. I want to welcome my thirties with no regrets and buckets of confidence & determination.

So there you have it, a small slice of me and who I am. I know this is a very different type of post than I usually do, but I felt like it was worth sharing. Have any of you gone through a mid-twenties life crisis? I feel like I have a lot to be proud of but I'm still unsettled with what I want to accomplish. I'll let you know when I find contentment ;) 

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